Tuesday, March 26, 2024

3 Key Strategies for Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children

 



Emotional intelligence is built on the foundations of self-awareness. The more that children can notice what is happening within themselves, they will learn to express their thoughts in healthier ways. In turn, this also encourages them to develop true empathy and compassion for others. As parents, you have the opportunity to model emotional intelligence at home. Spend quality time teaching the skills to them, but also re-directing them when it is misused.


  1. Become familiar with and make time to expand their emotional vocabulary: Children are still learning how to articulate their emotions. Use what is called the “emotions wheel” found on the internet. For example, the word anxiety can mean many different things: nervousness, overwhelm, or stress. The more specific they can describe how they feel, they will be open to receiving instructions from you. 


  1. Use “I” statements: Each individual needs to take ownership of their actions. These “I” statements are a clear starting point for your family. Remember that your children are constantly adjusting to the world around them. There will be a disconnect between their emotions and other people’s actions. You may have heard them say, “You made me upset or I don’t like you for doing this to me.” A statement of ownership sounds very different, “I felt upset earlier because I didn’t get to go to the movies with my friends.” Creating this type of home environment opens them up for guidance rather than blaming others.


  1. Help Them Understand The Difference Between Emotions and Thoughts: When children can be helped to distinguish between emotions and thoughts, they ultimately understand they are not their emotions. No one is an angry person even though people most commonly will refer to their emotions that way: “I’m so angry.” Reiterate to your children that the correct phrase is “I feel angry or I have anger.” It is not accurate to say “I feel like I’m not doing enough.” This is not an emotion. When it sounds more like a thought, you can correct it. Did you mean to say, “I feel sad because I think I’m not doing enough?”


How might you be using these strategies this week? Always take it one day at a time. You do not need to take them all at once. You can introduce one strategy this week and practice it as a family.




About the author: Joy Acaso is our own Parenting Coach at Night Watch Childcare Center. She has over 17 years of experience in the mental health field. She is available to answer your questions and provide resources that can help your family thrive.

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

How to Repair Family Connections






If you believe that it has been challenging or difficult to connect with your children, you’re not alone. This is cliche, but it really does happen. There are many reasons why families may have to manage crises when it comes to their relationships. Changes in people’s needs may affect the priorities and quality of bonds. You always have opportunities to repair your connection. As a gentle reminder, you’re not starting over. It is more of a reset and re-establishing anything that you feel may have been lost.


Here are recommendations for you to consider: 


  1. Look at your situation right now and accept where it is. Your acknowledgment and acceptance is a crucial first step. This helps you set the tone and plan of action. To gauge your situation you can use the traffic light scenario, are you in the green, yellow, or red zone? As with the green light, things feel stable. There’s always room for improvement but you believe that communication overall is healthy.

If you’re in the yellow zone, it means that you may be experiencing a few changes but they are manageable. The red zone is similar to crisis mode where you’re unable to have a dialogue. Conflicts are constant.


  1. Ask yourself where you want to go from here or how you want to move forward. If you feel drained or exhausted, it is ok to admit it. You can allow yourself to feel disengaged. It doesn’t make you a bad parent if the only answer you have at this moment is, “I don’t want to do anything.” Take a deep breath and pause. Let go of the guilt. If you have a strong desire to repair the bond with your children, take it one day at a time.


  1. Schedule a 1:1 time with the family member. As you are trying to figure things out, lower your expectations of what this time could look like. At first, there might not be laughter. There might not be words or positive interactions. A repair in relationships will require you to get used to being in each other’s presence again. 


  1. Seek professional help. In some cases, you may need someone with further training in communication or child development to guide you. They can ask you questions to bring more clarity to your thoughts and emotions. They can normalize and validate what you are going through. Having someone, who is nonjudgmental, can give you sound advice until you can sort out the next steps.






About the author: Joy Acaso is our own Parenting Coach at Night Watch Childcare Center. She has over 17 years of experience in the mental health field. She is available to answer your questions and provide resources that can help your family thrive.


Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Practical Tips for Staying Connected with your Family Part 2







Here are 3 ways that you can continue to build connections with your children and other family members. It is an ongoing practice. You may face some hurdles along the way, but you are not alone. It takes many tries to find out what fits best for their needs. The most important thing is consistency. However, that also looks different for everyone. If you don’t have hours allotted for these activities or tools, don't worry. Pick one of the tips from this week and last week, and think about which of them you want to focus on for the next few days.


  1. Encourage Emotional Expression: All kinds of emotions can show up at any given time. Remind your children that it is ok to talk about their feelings. Show them what it means to be compassionate and non-judgmental. In return, they will learn how to show you empathy as well. At home, they can learn healthy ways to share how they feel and what they are thinking. You will be able to discuss the boundaries of what they can do when they are feeling upset or sad.

  2. Problem-Solve Together: Parents often feel the burden of their children’s hurt and pain. This is absolutely normal. It is valid to have the urge to fix their situations. After all, you have more experience and are wiser in your worldview. Nonetheless, they will not learn anything from being rescued every time they face a challenging situation. You can role play, where you demonstrate different options for addressing difficulties in their lives. The main point is to always actively listen to their stories and concerns.

  3. Encourage Social Interactions: Talk about activities that you can do amongst each other. You can also get their creative ideas. Pair them up with siblings for special projects. Give them rewards or incentives as they finish their work. This will help them develop a sense of belonging and become a team player.







About the author: Joy Acaso is our own Parenting Coach at Nightwatch Childcare Center. She has over 17 years of experience in the mental health field. She is available to answer your questions and provide resources that can help your family thrive.


Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Practical Tips For Staying Connected With Your Children

 




Connectedness helps families develop a sense of belonging. However, it can be challenging to sit down with everyone and craft quality interactions. There are way too many distractions in our society today. You, as a parent, have to navigate an ever-changing world and culture. Here are 4 tips that you can try this week with your family. Start here and allow for patience and grace.



  1. Create Tech-Free Zones and Times - Designate a time when all electronic devices must be turned off. Our society has become truly dependent on technology for many things. While these devices aren’t necessarily the culprit, they can easily reduce quality time within families. When you intentionally let everyone take a break from technology, you are sending the message that your relationships matter. You want to invest in face-to-face interactions. You value the conversations you have with each of your family members. Your children will also learn different ways to make their lives richer other than being on social media or video games. These can also consume the adults. It’s better to have this same rule apply to everyone.


  1. Engage in Play With Your Children - Play itself enhances brain growth and development. Research shows that the regions of the brain necessary for learning, memory, and affection are activated when children engage in play. Parents can also benefit from this in so many ways. There is an element of relaxation, excitement, or happiness that can come as a result of it. For older children or teenagers, it is important to ask them what their interests are, and by participating in these activities parents can show that they care. This is perhaps one of the easiest ways to nurture your relationship with your children.


  1. Practice Active Listening - There is a significant difference when it comes to active listening. You’re not simply hearing what your children are saying. This kind of skill calls for outside-the-box thinking. You prepare yourself beforehand to pay attention to what the children are saying. On top of that, you make a deal with yourself, though internally, that you would hold off on your opinions. You give them all the time they need to talk about their side of the story. And because you are actively listening, you can reflect back to them everything they’ve said. This becomes possible when parents come into conversations with the intent of understanding their children’s points of view. 


  1. Learn From The Challenges - It takes repeated execution and practice of these tips for your relationship to grow. This is a great start. When you face pushback from your children, it doesn’t mean you have to end your efforts. You can always evaluate and ask for everyone’s feedback. Other members of your family may have solutions. Learn from one another.







About the author: Joy Acaso is our own Parenting Coach at Night atch Childcare Center. She has over 17 years of experience in the mental health field. She is available to answer your questions and provide resources that can help your family thrive.


Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Strategies For Ending The Parent-Child Power Struggle




Understanding the Dynamics:

Power struggles between parents and children often stem from a natural desire for autonomy. Children want to gain more independence, yet know at the same time their innate need for guidance. Recognizing this underlying dynamic is crucial to finding constructive solutions.

Encourage Independence: Foster a sense of independence in your child by allowing them age-appropriate choices. This not only helps them develop decision-making skills but also reduces the need for power struggles. For example, let them choose their clothes, snacks, or bedtime stories within the boundaries you set.


Establish Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations and rules. When children understand the reasons behind certain rules, they are more likely to cooperate. Make sure the rules are consistent and age-appropriate.


Active Listening: Take the time to listen to your child's perspective. Understanding their thoughts and feelings validates their experiences and helps build trust. This open communication can reduce the likelihood of power struggles as children feel heard and respected.




About the author: Joy Acaso is our own Parenting Coach at Nightwatch Childcare Center. She has over 17 years of experience in the mental health field. She is available to answer your questions and provide resources that can help your family thrive.


Tuesday, February 20, 2024

7 Habits that can Cause Mom Burnout and What to do Instead



Motherhood in itself can be daunting. With the added pressure that moms place on themselves, more complex factors come into play. 


Moms wear different hats from nurturer, nurse, teacher, cheerleader, number one fan, cook, and comforter… just to name a few. It is no wonder that feeling tired and exhausted can be expected once the journey into motherhood begins. The experience of raising a family is different for every individual. However, some commonalities and trends can fast-track any mom’s experience into burnout.


Burnout is a phenomenon. It is real. It happens every day. Anyone can go through burnout. Moms are no exception. As they juggle many aspects of parenting, working, maintaining a home, and taking care of themselves they can just as easily feel defeated.


While no one causes leads to burnout, certain habits can be harmful.


  1. Comparing yourself to other moms: Comparison is one of those great distractions. It can take your focus away from what you can be doing to celebrate who you are as a person. 

  2. Comparing your children to other children: When you start to covet what others have, you lose sight of what’s important. Worse, your children miss out on your unconditional love. 

  3. Being fearful of the future: Overthinking and overplanning can be detrimental if you start to place yourself in moments ahead of you. Uncertainties can bring about worry, which is a normal part of life. However, extreme fear can be paralyzing.

  4. Dwelling in the past: Remembering your past and any pain that comes with it can only bring more suffering into your own life.

  5. Focusing on what is lacking: Using your energy to count how many goals you haven’t achieved or how many dreams haven’t come true is a sure way to de-motivate you.

  6. Ignoring the symptoms of stress: Putting your health and well-being on hold will only heighten your emotions. It can also cloud your judgment.

  7. Avoid asking for help: Needing to be strong for everyone else can make you feel alone and isolated.



What to do Instead?


This quote from two moms and authors of several books, including “Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms”, is such a great reminder:

“The idea of mom as a two-dimensional figure is not something inflicted upon us by our husbands or kids. We do it to ourselves. In fact, the only people who seem to realize that Mom is a person- fragile, important person- are these folks who make the safety videos for airline companies.”


Understand that your role as a mom is a significant one. Gain inspiration from other families rather than seeing them with eyes of envy. Take the time to reflect on what kind of life you want to create. From there, cherish the lessons you’ve learned from your past. Let those lessons motivate you to look into the future with love in your heart.


Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Tips For Setting Up Family Meetings Part 1

 




Family meetings can help you achieve your goals. These meetings will also allow you to focus on your priorities and increase cooperation in the home. Here are some tips to guide you in setting up your own family meetings.


  1. Identify what's important for your family. Be clear about the kind of home environment you want to create. Make a list of the different tasks you need to delegate. 

  2. Define your agenda beforehand. Proactively prepare for what you want to be discussed. Determine how long you want the meetings to last. Keep new items to a maximum of 2 especially if you have school aged children.

  3. Explain the purpose of these meetings. During the first one, remember to help your family understand why it’s necessary to have these spaces of scheduled meetings: 

    1. What would be allowed as a topic?

    2. When will you hold these meetings?

    3. How will the meetings flow?

  4. Ask for everyone’s input. You are more likely to have successful meetings if everyone is involved. You don’t have to make all the decisions alone. If there are other adults in the home, it’s better to communicate with them too. Give room for the children and teenagers to speak up after you let them know the ground rules.


We will continue a series of these blogs to elaborate on more tools and tips. 









About the author: Joy Acaso is our own Parenting Coach at Nightwatch Childcare Center. She has over 17 years of experience in the mental health field. She is available to answer your questions and provide resources that can help your family thrive.


3 Key Strategies for Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children

  Emotional intelligence is built on the foundations of self-awareness. The more that children can notice what is happening within themselve...