We all live in the present, but it's the past that brings us here. What choices and actions got you to where you are today? What did you do yesterday or earlier this week to shape your current state of body, mind, and spirit? In the past, we didn’t always get the wins we thought we deserved—that’s part of adulting. As children, we learn that we can’t always have what we want, but as adults, we adjust our motivation, skills, and attitudes to propel ourselves forward. Whether it’s a win in parenting, higher education, or landing the job you believe you deserve, a win is a win, no matter when it happens. Sometimes, though, you have to lose before your next win can come, and that’s okay.
Timing is everything, so give yourself grace. A loss or
failure pushes us toward where we are meant to be, setting us up for the next
win, whether big or small. So, when parenting feels overwhelming and your
little one is throwing a tantrum, remember that not every battle has to be won
that day. Don’t beat yourself up. Every failure is a lesson that gives you new
tools for the future. That tantrum? It can be an opportunity to learn something
new—about your child and about yourself. Whether it’s discovering how to soothe
them or realizing that sometimes it’s okay to let the tantrum play out, there’s
growth in that moment.
Personally, I’ve had to face many days of tantrums with my
son, who struggled with behavioral issues. At first, I didn’t know what to do.
But eventually, I sought help from professionals. I took notes, observed my
son, and worked closely with our village of daycare workers, mentors, teachers,
family, and friends. Together, we learned what strategies worked best for him
and for me. Today, I can proudly say he is a thriving 8-year-old. We've gone
from dealing with serious aggression and frustration to a place of calm,
understanding, and knowing what works for us.
Similarly, I once failed out of a college program, but that
didn’t stop me. I transferred my credits and pursued a different program that
proved to be the right fit. Sure, I was sad about those initial losses, but in
the end, I got the wins because I kept pushing forward. I gathered the
knowledge, resources, and support I needed to continue.
What works for others may not always work for you or your
child, and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t let your failures define your present.
Instead, think of them as stepping stones. Everyone experiences setbacks. We’ve
all missed out on a job or a situation we thought we deserved. Don’t be afraid
to lose or to take risks. You never know what’s next for you. Trust your
judgment—you’re doing a great job. Give yourself grace because being here, in
the present, is a win in itself.
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